Daoism & Qi

I have been thinking about a moment from yesterday I’m not proud of. Not pretty. Not spiritual. Not evolved. Just human, messy, reactive. Angry. Jealous. Vindictive. I honestly scared myself. I’m exhausted. Today I felt the old scripts lining up—over-apologize, shrink, fawn, disappear, punish myself for it. Numb it out. Call it proof that I’m damaged beyond repair. Not today. Today I’m going down the more difficult path. I’m looking directly at what I did without flinching—and without turning it into a shame spiral. I’m taking responsibility without abandoning myself in the process. I’m making promises I actually intend to keep. Quiet ones. Real ones. No performance. No self-flagellation. Just boundaries—with myself. Accountability—with teeth. I don’t need to stay the version of me that made that choice. I don’t need to drag her into tomorrow like dead weight. “You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.” — Alan Watts I can learn. Adjust. Move different. Five minutes ago me did what she knew. This version of me knows more. And I’m going to act like it.

Parts work changed how I see myself. Instead of “what’s wrong with me?” I ask… “which part of me is here right now?” Because trauma doesn’t create one self. It creates many. For me: Chicken Little — my inner child. Imaginative, curious… but anxious, always bracing for something to go wrong. The Protector Fox — instinctual, sharp, guarded. Shows up as perfectionism, avoidance, escape. I’m learning to tame her with gentle, assertive energy. The Screaming Woman — chaos. Raw pain with nowhere to go. She comes out when things feel too quiet… like peace isn’t safe. She doesn’t want to destroy me—she wants to be heard. Wavy Purple — born in grief. After the fire, after losing my sister, I painted my pain… and something shifted. She’s my creative, wise, scarred self. The Purple Phoenix — what rose from the ashes. Stronger. Clearer. Now helping others rise too. This is parts work. Not fixing yourself. Integrating. Listening instead of suppressing. Understanding instead of judging. When you do this, you stop fighting yourself… and start becoming whole. If you want to begin: • What part is here right now? • What does it feel in my body? • What is it protecting me from? • What does it need? You don’t have to do this alone. Join us for The Parts Work Support Circle 🔥🕊️ Zoom link: https://us06web.zoom.us/j/81390409813