Drinking alcohol has been on my mind lately. They say when you're drunk you can say what you really want to say. I'm kinda convinced. My father has been alcoholic. He would go home drunk and say a lot of things to us, mostly about how miserable our life was. He would sometimes tell us how he hated my mother so much or how bad he think she is. One time, he admitted that he unalived a person by accident. I always hated him for being like that. I blamed his contagious suffering for the misery of our family. He's the most a-hole person I could think of whenever it happens. But it wasn't really the reason why I've been considering drinking. I've been nice to everyone and being nice was the very first thing in my mind everytime. Sometimes it feels good whenever I do it right and insidious most of the times as a people-pleaser. I was thinking that, maybe, I could be an a-hole for a moment without losing my mind by being intoxicated from alcohol. As terrible I see my father for being alcoholic, it is as hard for me to deny that I find him authentic when he is drunk.