I Hit a Rough Patch

I’m overspending my money for my birthday and I’m sad I had to cancel my CD from Amazon really gutted but however I got a CD hopefully the chime card works on my other two purchases.

I’m feeling frustrated with life lately I’m so scared that i won’t get this job offers.

I’m thinking of those ppl that need the hand or someone from their family to help them cuz we tend to bet on it first, so do I, and when they turn away or say no, then those ppl just stay were they are and I think they should realize the power they actually have and hold over changing someone’s life just by taking them in. Which I’m not sure if my relatives realize, so I’ll def mention that. Also witnessing how someone went blank on socials cuz of parents, sure, some relatives can snitch and be difficult, we truly can’t trust anybody and be sure 100%, but still, knowing those that are worthy to try with is a goal🐙🙏🏻 (there was a time where my relatives thought it can’t be “that” bad) but this year, I confirmed my truth. It’s very important that they’re on our side, just like professionals, everyone MUST be.

Y’all gotta be strong this ain’t hard this is real❤️🐙😭 going to counselor this Monday, then I’ll see if grandma could be better or if she’s still sick and somehow wait the heat (plus period ah period nooo) and then I’d just go cuz I need lil more to finish the letter for my relatives. To finally live when my memory of everything is fading away is what NEEDS to be SAVED. I’m all for it😭🐙✨ let’s gooooo

I’m feeling frustrated 😣

Back inside y’all. Where I would be without my fav show, airing now💙 Everytime they mock and yell and etc, they sank a new low in my eyes, but if it’s towards someone who’s sick, it’s the lowest cuz it makes me remember all times I didn’t get help from them and now it’s uncle again… octopus is my lifeline but it’s time to make it outta here fr fr🐙😩

When you’re unwell but you can’t sleep cuz narc fam is ultra loud so you’re forced going to the outside to the heat (well I’m by the shade or whatever we call it) but hearing how uncle is getting “nothing” instead of support is crazy + they’re laughing at him and what I’m supposed to do? Being stuck in this awful day for sure😭😩 I’m tired y’all.

Hitting drought patch cuz uncle got sick and it’s always those elders that say you can’t even take a single photo when he was already inside the car I just wanted to have proof for myself that ambulance 🚑 came. But I’ve got enough tho. Wishing I could go see grandma… toxic fam always reacts so toxicly like they barely cared or went to check on him (I went too) but hearing them saying he’d be better off is like, man even I wanna give up, you know how tired I am to be deprived of this much freedom? So tired. But cuz of uncle and grandma ppl liked that I keep going and for myself to make it outta here so literally their attitude is below zero.

Yesterday (Saturday) my birthday was a massive disappointment my old roommate had an upset stomach then my friend had to work from 12:00pm-10:00pm then my secret admirer told me that he had to work at his uncle’s shop then band stuff it was the worse birthday I had ever.😔

I refuse to eat old lunch (the times of sacrificing are gone) so waiting until 4pm it is. Besides 🐙🩷 pieuvre keeps me company, with or without food.