Hello there i hope everbodies new moon is good. I snapped out of my bs a few hours ago, i been out there being dumb and forgetting myself and growing appethetic. TW: Substance Abuse. On January 5th 2024 I went to rehab for my coke problem, I went twice, within 2 days of getting out i went back in (longish story not important). and i came home in late may with a fire burning in my belly completely ready to be the most successful and happy and at peace me i can be. Well in august i relapsed. Lost the job my best buddy basically threw at me, and i fucked him off and haven't talked to him since. I lost this job within a day of trying dope for the first time, tried it and immediately fukn loved it. obviously. uppers addict shit. I came to my senses earlier today after basically a whole fuckin year of being twacked out of my mind ignoring and losing friends breaking up with my girl and getting what feels irreparably worse mentally. I need somebody to be here with me and listen but i cant seem to just tell people whats going on i know i need to but im ashamed and sorta been coasting thru it. But im tired, always saying "im trying" fuck no i aint. I am now. Todays a day for reevaluating and reassessing. Thanks for reading. Goodnight you lovely people☮️💜