Emma I hear you! Therein lies the challenge. It’s a personal decision and a unique journey to make such a decision particularly in the face of difficult times! For me, reading the Course and practicing the lessons in the workbook help me, to at least language showing up with love again and again.
As a long time student and teacher of the Course in Miracles, I recommend this gentle experience to connect you to the energy of love and forgiveness that the Course teaches