afraid to love again because the last time i did, it made me kneel to God asking to take the pain away that's been killing me inside there were nights i found myself on my knees, whispering prayers to God, begging for the pain to ease, for the heaviness in my chest to just let me breathe again. loving that deeply didn't just break my heart—it shook my spirit. and now, even though a part of me still longs for something real, something gentle and true, there's another part that hesitates, that remembers how much it hurt to give everything and be left with so little. i'm trying to heal, trying to find my way back to a place where love doesn't feel like something to fear. but for now, i'm learning to protect my heart, to take things slowly, and to believe that if i ever love again, it won't bring me to my knees in pain-but lift me up in peace.