I’m 4 hours into my dad’s 7 hour open heart surgery. I’m alone waiting at the hospital & I feel an equal mixture of complete fear & comfort knowing that it is out of my hands. Meanwhile our 19 year old neighbor, who I’ve known since a baby, died in her sleep 3 days ago. Having a hard time feeling ‘safe’ right now & making sense of much. It’s time’s like this that really make you question life, faith & spirituality.