They say I give up too easily when things get hard. Maybe I do. But it's not because I don't care - it's because I care too much. Every time a fight starts, it feels like my small bit of peace starts to fall apart. I swallow words I want to say, not because I'm weak, but because I'm scared they'll leave me for good. So I stay quiet, even when I'm hurting. I choose silence over the risk of losing someone I like. And then later, when it's calm, I hate myself for not speaking up. It's this constant tug-of-war between protecting the bond and protecting my heart. I don't tell anyone that sometimes, peace feels a lot like pretending.