I used to hold onto every single memory because I knew we wouldn't be making them anymore. I used to sit and wonder if you were happy. I used to think that this sadness would last forever and for the longest time, I convinced myself that I was unlovable. The truth is that I wasn't unlovable. I was just sad. You made me sad. I have learned to be by myself and heal all the parts of me that ached to hold you. I've come to terms with knowing that the only person that I needed was myself. I used to be homesick and not sure where home was until I realized that I was home. I was all I needed. Maybe it's because I didn't need you to save me. Someone has to leave right? This is where I leave you. This is where I finally forgive myself for putting up with someone who constantly reminded me of everything I was running away from. This is me learning to love and lose and still be kind. Every time I saw you sad, I'd save you from yourself. I know that love was there, but it didn't change a thing. It didn't save anyone. I'd save you from your darkest thoughts but this time, I'm learning to save myself. This is me learning to love life. This is me finally understanding that the ocean remains grand without your waves, that it doesn't beg for your return to keep its rhythm