Your heart grows anxious at the idea of getting attached to someone, or building routines that make them a part of your everyday life. You don't ever allow yourself to completely believe that this person won't hurt you because you know what it feels like when all the hope you held onto shatters just like that. You know how lonely it is to watch the person you loved, walk away with all the parts of you, you trusted them to keep safe. You know what heartbreak tastes like, and how much worse it is when it comes from someone who was so convincing when they promised to stay by your side. So, you don't make yourself available for just anyone anymore. You keep your distance from people, instead, and you give them a more permanent place in your life, only when they genuinely start acting like that's what they want, too.