One day your eyes will meet his and for the first time your heart won't race. You'll hear his voice amidst the chaos and nothing will make your heart ache, not even the smell of his scent. You'll realize that you actually survived his absence. You will realize that you lived through all your nightmares and heartbreaks. You'll finally acknowledge that you are over him and nothing about him was all that good. You'll realize that everything went on and you actually did it without him. Your eyes will not glisten this time. Your mouth won't run out of words and you'll not have that gigantic lump in your throat when you try to speak. I promise! Maybe he will never realize that he lost someone who fought constantly to keep him at peace but who knows? Maybe he knew all along and lost you anyway. Maybe he will realize that you were worth the fight, maybe not. You won't have to pretend that you are doing fine. You won't have to look away because his presence makes you uncomfortable. You know why? Because you would have grown to appreciate your worth. You would have forgiven yourself for everything you said you wouldn't tolerate but you put up with anyway. You'll be someone who knows all their fears but won't let them consume you. I hope you become that person who doesn't let their sadness make them bitter. I hope you'll always stay soft through it all.