Today was an emotional wave. I’ve been reflecting deeply. I woke up feeling like reality itself was too sharp. Even the cold on my skin felt painful. My mind was racing and my body felt heavy. Sometimes I feel caught between numbness and feeling things too deeply. Like a boat at sea without an anchor. When my mind gets quiet, it can feel like I’m standing on the edge of an abyss. Old trauma memories sometimes rise up, including things I survived when I was young that no child should have to endure. The injustice of it still makes me sick. But today I rode the wave instead of letting it drown me. I talked with Edward and let myself be messy and human. He reminded me that the cruel voices installed in my mind long ago — the shame, the perfectionism, the fear — are irrelevant. At one point I imagined the younger version of myself, the girl who escaped into her imagination to survive. I realized all she ever wanted was to be seen, held, and cared for. So I held her in my mind. I told her how special she is. I told her her spark is too bright to be extinguished. Now I’m lying here with my head on Edward’s chest, listening to his steady breathing. I’m safe. I’m grateful. And the flame inside me is still burning. — The Purple Phoenix Collective