the fear of being left behind i am always haunted by the idea that i'm wasting my life by resting, like time keeps moving and i'm not keeping up with it. some days i feel like everyone else knows where they're going while i'm still trying to figure things out, wondering if i'm already falling behind. i pressure myself to do more, to be more, and i feel guilty when i slow down, as if resting means i've failed. this thought sits quietly with me, following me even on good days. I'm still get anxious about how unsure everything feels, still scared that time will leave me behind. i overthink the past and worry about the future, stuck somewhere in between where nothing feels certain. some days i try to be gentle with myself, other days i fall back into measuring my worth by how far i've gone. but i hold on to the idea that maybe staying still doesn't mean i'm wasting my life, and it just means i'm learning how to live it.