You can't control what other people think of you. You can't control what they say about you behind your back. You can't control how they judge your actions or whether they believe your truth. And, at some point, it's not your responsibility to. Your job is to be your authentic self, not to try to dictate other's thoughts and emotions toward you. You don't have to be liked by everyone to feel solid within yourself. You don't have to be externally forgiven to forgive yourself for your mistakes. You don't have to be so petrified of being spoken about negatively that you forget other's tendencies to gossip say more about them than you. You know who you are. Stop letting people who have only witnessed fractions of you get to your head.