I am still learning to forgive myself for... apologising for having needs that were inconvenient to others, trying to earn love that should have been unconditional, over-explaining myself to people who had already decided not to understand, sacrificing my boundaries to keep others appeased, being low-maintenance so no one would abandon me, believing that if I loved harder, they would finally value me, staying silent and holding my feelings inside until they erupted as rage, justifying red flags in my head until I no longer knew what was right or wrong, giving multiple chances to someone's toxic patterns, trying to fix what was never mine to repair, losing pieces of myself while trying to hold others together, thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with me because of someone else's inability to treat me properly, struggling to be emotionally self-reliant, staying too long in places where I was disrespected and unheard, and living too little in the present and too much inside my own head. I am still learning to forgive myself for doing what I could to survive with what I knew.