I'm not judging you, but: Maybe you've developed a "routine" of imagining who someone could be instead of seeing who they consistently are. Perhaps you learned early on that hope was your only way to stay connected because the connection you needed wasn't really there. And, as you grow older, that hope becomes a belief: "If I stay hopeful, I stay connected." And please, don't get me wrong here, but that belief is a double-edged sword. You might not actually be in love with that one person in front of you, but with the relief you imagine feeling when they finally show up. The point is that there's a big difference between loving someone's potential and loving reality. And that difference comes down to one simple truth: Not "They would show up if..." But "They do show up."