This year, I learned that grief and gratitude can coexist. That I can feel my heart crack down the middle and be thankful for the pain because it means that I've lived fully and loved deeply—that I didn't hide from life but instead chose to pour my whole self into the act of beautiful, hard, messy living. I learned that I can love the life I have now while still taking time to grieve the paths I didn't walk. The lives I didn't get to live. The people who are no longer traveling this path beside me. The visions of a future I once had that can no longer be. I learned that so many times in life, we don't know that the last time we do something is going to be the last. That it often sneaks up on us unexpectedly. And that while we can't prevent the lasts, we can love what we have now while it's still here just a little bit more. This year, I learned that my heart can handle so much more than I ever gave it credit for. That it's soft but mighty. That it's far stronger than I ever realized-stronger than I even know now. And while I sometimes wish it didn't have to be so strong, I'm grateful for this beating heart for always reminding me that I'm still here. Still breathing. I'm grateful for its gentle wisdom and soft nudges. And most of all, m gratetul that in the joy and the pain, the hope and the heartache-it knows love.