i'm not angry, im just disappointed, maybe at you, but also at myself. i look at you now and see a person who's far from what i thought you were. it's the quiet and painful realization that no matter how much i hoped, you are not different from everyone who ever hurt me. maybe it's too much to expect and hope for the minimum. i really thought of you better, that you'd do better, even if not for me, but for yourself. maybe it was my fault that i gave you so many chances to redeem yourself. maybe that's on me, for waiting and hoping you'd do something that would prove me wrong, that you'd become the person you've always promised me you'd become. i cannot even fathom how many times it broke my heart every time you let me down, but i kept everything to myself because i cannot hear any more promises from you again. i dont even have the energy to be mad at you now, i'm just tired of expecting something from someone whose only thing to offer are broken promises.