They think I'm just "mature" for always apologizing first. But it's not maturity - it's fear. I say sorry even when I'm the one hurting, because peace feels safer than being right. I've learned that silence after an argument cuts deeper than swallowing my pride. So I take the blame, patch things up, pretend it's fine. No one sees how heavy it feels to always be the one bending. How tiring it is to keep the world calm while I'm breaking inside. I don't want to be the bigger person; I just don't want to be left. And I can't say that out loud, because it sounds weak - but it's the truth.