I finally admit to myself that I am not okay. I used to make myself believe that I was a strong person and that I didn't need anyone to make me happy. I used to lie to myself and say that I would be just fine even when I had tears in my eyes. I've forced myself to behave like a calm person, but deep in me, there is a raging hatred in my heart and the loudest chaos in my mind. Now, I admit to myself that there is something wrong with the constant sadness and hate that I feel in my heart. The truth is, I've been suffering from these unwanted feelings for so long. I was just too quiet to pretend that I was peaceful. I never wanted anyone to see me miserable. I never wished for anyone to feel pity for me. I've tried to pretend that I was happy and contented with my life, but right now, I can no longer bear the sadness and pain that I've been feeling. I finally admit to myself that I don't want to feel alone. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want someone to understand me and say that my feelings are valid. I finally realized that there is nothing to be ashamed of for not being okay. It's okay to feel this way. And sometimes, I just have to keep going.