For most of my life, I felt like I didn’t exist unless someone was witnessing me. Not just seeing me. Approving of me. A teacher. A mentor. A boss. A therapist. An authority figure. If they praised me, I felt real. If they disapproved of me, I felt like I was disappearing. Shadow work forced me to ask a painful question: Why was I handing other people the power to decide whether I mattered? Part of the answer was the father wound. When a child grows up without consistent affirmation, protection, or emotional attunement, they often become adults who are starving to be seen. Not because they’re weak. Because they’re hungry. Hungry for recognition. Hungry for validation. Hungry for someone to finally say, “You matter.” The shadow appears when that hunger becomes unconscious. That’s when attention starts feeling like love. That’s when you overlook red flags because someone is finally making you feel special. Predators know this. They know how to mirror you, praise you, and become exactly what you’ve been searching for. Then they use that hunger against you. I’ve had to face the uncomfortable truth that some of the most toxic relationships in my life began with a desperate need to be witnessed. The hunger wasn’t the problem. The wound was. The work now is learning to witness myself. To become the steady presence I spent years searching for in everyone else. 💜 The Purple Phoenix Collective