If you have to teach another adult hore to love you, respect you, and behave like a thoughtful, self-aware, emotionally mature person, congratulations, you're a parent now. You're not in a relationship, you've willingly adopted someone's immature adult child. There's no pride in training someone to love you, they're supposed to come trained by default. It's the bare minimum, not a syllabus you're expected to prepare and revise every day. You're not supposed to be responsible for them, but that's exactly what they want from you.They'll make you decide everything so they can blame you for everything without being responsible for anything. And you'll keep wondering why the relationship feels like a emotional burden carrying for two. If they keep saying "tell me what to do," tell them to leave, or better, you leave before they drain the last bit of you.