They say, "You're so distant," and I just nod. Because it's easier than explaining the truth. They don't see the battles in my head, the weight that never really leaves, the way I pull back not to push people away, but to keep myself from breaking in front of them. I'm not cold, I'm not careless, I'm tired. I'm trying. Sometimes being distant is the only way I know how to keep myself together. They think I'm pulling back because I don't care, but really, I'm fighting a war I don't have the words to explain. I wish they understood that my silence isn't rejection, it's survival.
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