Emotional unavailability is the biggest red flag, not a personality trait to fix. I don't care how charming, funny, or well-liked they are - that's all for shore. If they can't be kind and respectful behind closed doors, it means nothing. Public perfection means nothing when private behaviour is cruel and careless. They treat others with grace but save their worst version for the one who loves them most. That's not love, that's hypocrisy dressed up as a relationship. Don't fall for the sudden affection that shows up after they mess up — it's manipulation. It's just a reset button they hit to keep you from leaving, not to change themselves. Remember, genuine love doesn't require constant damage control — it feels safe, not exhausting.