I want sunset walks to forests with a piping cup of coffee in one hand and a dog leash in the other. I want drowsy Saturday mornings with the waft of sticky pancakes in the air, and loose t-shirts and messy buns and Netflix playing in the background. I want a snug scarf wrapped around my neck and sprayed with your aftershave, so when I tuck my nose in, I feel like I'm tucking into you instead. I want Sunday brunch with friends and weekly catchups with family without anxiety knotting in the pit of my stomach. I want slow dances in quiet streets under the beaming headlights of a car and I want cosy nights blanketed with love and warmth. I want to look forward to stepping out of my house and I want to open up to others. I want to be able to sleep on time at night without ghosts of the past hammering inside my mind and I want to shut off for a while. I want to wake up on time and start my day right, like those confident, focused people with a desire to take over the world bubbling in their eyes. I want to enjoy going out as much as I do staying in, and I want to give this adventure of mine a chance. I want to have no regrets going forward, so that when I'm in my 70s I can tell myself that I did all that my heart desired and didn't leave anything to spare.