They ask me, "Why are you always so happy?" And I laugh, I've learned how to make it look real, how to laugh on cue, how to seem fine when I'm not. It's easier that way. People like the version of me that's okay. But when I'm alone, the silence hits different. The smile fades, and everything I've been holding back comes pouring out. I cry quietly, wipe my face, and get ready to play the "fine" game again tomorrow. No one knows how heavy it is to be everyone's sunshine while you're standing in your own rain. I'm not pretending because I want to, I'm pretending because it's the only way to survive.